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Print this page Print Version Rejection

Along with death and taxes, one thing is certain about the songwriter's career: it will be full of rejection. As for many people in the entertainment industry, rejection is part and parcel of the job. And if you can't deal with it in a way that prevents it from damaging your confidence and self-esteem, then the chances of staying in your chosen field are drastically reduced.
So it helps to have a realistic view of what you can expect as a songwriter. It also helps to try not to view every setback as a major rejection. There are different levels of letdown. For instance, someone not liking a line in a verse of a song is not the same as a publisher telling you that none of the songs on your demo have been taken up by a potential artist.
If you face nothing but continual rejection, it may be time to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if the mental cost of repeated disappointments is worth it. It could mean asking the dreaded question 'Am I doing the right thing?' It may be you are well-suited to the music business but perhaps doing something else? Production, management or A&R.

After you've licked your wounds, sit up, look around and see what you can get out of the situation.
Brett Kahr

When something you've done has been rejected, e.g. someone didn't like your song, you didn't win that writing competition or the gig failed to impress that A&R scout, try to take what psychologist Brett Kahr would describe as a 'mature' approach:

• Admit you are upset about what's happened. The best way to do this is to express it to someone else. Tell your girl/boyfriend/parents/best mate that you're down about it. It gives you a chance to let off steam and them a chance to show some support.
• Don't write off the experience completely. After you have licked your wounds sit up, look around and see what you can get out of the situation. If your song wasn't taken up try and find out why. Ask for feedback. If you didn't win the competition find out who did, and work out what's good about their song that you may use next time.
• Focus on enjoying writing and performing - just doing the music.
• Be realistic. There are far more rejections in this business than successes. Deal with the downside and move on - it will make the successes that much sweeter.

Martin Brammer Martin Brammer, songwriter
"I think for most songwriters, most of the time, most things will be rejected." Martin believes the realistic approach is best.
Listen to Martin
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